my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
