two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
