So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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