I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
