Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
