i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she told me i tasted like america
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
