So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
