nut hugger
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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