if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize