Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
