Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
