I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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