You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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