i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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