He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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