He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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