Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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