yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize