please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
