i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize