Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize