She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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