Me too!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
