So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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