At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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