I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
