An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
