Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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