i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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