I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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