Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
