Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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