So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
