I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
