Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
