What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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