Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
