who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
