So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
