I just saw a hot homeless man
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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