come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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