No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
