You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
