how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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