Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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