Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
