Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
