non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
