I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
