k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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