You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
