i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
