"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
