just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
