There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
