I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wanna go halves on a baby?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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