My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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