pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
