So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
