The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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