i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
