i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
